One of the most significant challenges in marital relationships is the termination of the honeymoon period. When the delicious spark and sweet magic begin to fade way and the pleasant physical sensation we have when we are with partners have vanished, then everything seems less stimulating and rather normal. At the beginning of any intimate relationship, partners subconsciously tend to present themselves and act in a pleasant manner. And that’s okay because they want to keep these unforgettable loving moments forever.
When one falls in love and enters in a new relationship and then get married, it’s difficult to think about the fact that this could ever happen. But unfortunately, the avoidance of ending the honeymoon phase is inevitable. This implies that many married couples misunderstand the end of the honeymoon “the spark” phase. They usually think of it as the end of their entire relationship, especially when they see the partners as they are; without their continuous attempt to please one another. Experiencing loss of excitement makes them mistakenly think about the loss of love. Many couples merely give up on great and loving relationships because they don’t know that they have made that usual progress to the next phase of the relationship, and things have changed slightly.
What happened when one begins to feel like this? How could a person differentiate if the relationship is going through normal changes or facing some serious problems? The most important question is how could one get through it and keep the relationship? According to Dr. Marty Tashman, there are 5 relationship phases that all couples go through:
1. the honeymoon,
3. the challenge,
4. the crossroad,
5. the rebirth phase.
The honeymoon phase usually last between 6 months and a year, where the relationship still feels new and thrilling and partners are continually experiencing and learning new things about each other. However, when this interesting learning process would abruptly stop, partners start to feel that they know each other very well. Hence, the absurd truth comes; they are very likely to feel bored. This start with when the person is no longer exciting like before. Boredom could make one partner asking and inquiring about how he/she feels. In the case, where a partner still feels in love for his/her other half, he/she wouldn’t feel bored. And so, nothing has changed. However, if the feelings start fading away, one probably thinks, that is it and he/she is not the right one. As a result, the giving up attitude starts to appear, when a partner is not willing to work or do anything in the relationship. Then one might start to notice their partners’ flaws and imperfections.
But how does one could figure out what are serious problems, and what is the natural relationship progression? It is important to think about some reasons why you feel bored. Is it your partner or the relationship that makes you bored? If the relationship is boring you, it is easier to work that out than if your partner is what causes the feeling of boredom.
Relationship experts recommend the following tips to solve those problems: getting some space, going on a second first date, doing something new together, getting an outside perspective about the relationship, and living up the boredom, perhaps make a regular date night, just the two of you, weekly, monthly, and make that date night your priority! Go all out!. And if what you have tried did not work out, then, you need to educate yourself about relationships by reading self help books. If that didn’t work, then you may consider seeking a professional help.
Remember, the last phase of the relationship cycle is rebirth! A new discovery of the relationship!