Let’s face it – we all get lonely at times; some more than others. We may wish we had someone or a different person in our lives, or simply, even with a significant other we still feel lonely. We may think it’s the result of another person, or not having another person. I propose another theory, the problem lies within us. We are the source of our loneliness.
You may feel emotionally isolated when you are surrounded by people but are having difficulty socializing with them. Feeling lonely is not the same as being alone. A person will always have a time when they choose to be alone. Instead, loneliness is the feeling of sadness about being alone.
Our feelings are neither right or wrong, they simply are. With some feelings we feel great. With other feelings we don’t feel great. The ones where we don’t feel great are the ones that serve as guides — telling us that something has to be learned, accepted, or changed.
What must be learned? What is it about being lonely that we feel so uncomfortable with? Why can’t we sit with ourselves and enjoy and be comfortable our own company? Why is it that we believe that we have to be around others all the time as a distraction from ourselves? Don’t get me wrong, we are social creatures after all, however, we also need time to be alone – to rest, to re-energize, to collect ourselves, or simply, just to be alone. Yet, loneliness is different. For many, those lonely times, are when we can’t stand to be in our own company. What is it about ourselves that we don’t like? What is it we need to change or grow in? What would it take for us to be comfortable with accepting Faults, all and all. Ask yourself these questions – and not just when you’re feeling lonely.
The lesson of loneliness is to be comfortable with yourself . perhaps you are lonely when your with your friends, or with your partner. This could mean there is something not right in these relationships.
Maybe you’ve changed, or your partner has changed. Perhaps your interests are now different then that of your friends. This can be negative, in that they are continuing to develop as people, and you are not, or positive in that you are developing , growing as a person and they are not. Perhaps it’s time to work on the relationship, work on the friendships, or on you. What is important to remember is go forward, not back.
Loneliness is often a painful emotion! It also is a powerful emotion! It’s all on how we CHOOSE to look at it, and what we’re going to do with it.
Option 1: feel sorry for ourselves (which I don’t recommend), as this will lead to depression.
Option 2: CHOOSE, to take the time of loneliness to reflect on what needs to happen, what needs to be worked on, what needs, to be changed. What you like about yourself and what you don’t. What’s good about your relationship(s) and what isn’t. Write it down, both the positive and the negative. Wait a few days until your feeling better and review your list. THEN decide on what has to be done, and work towards that.
Be well, be happy